


weightless

by arrowstung



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: M/M, minor mention of dieting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 20:18:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18350975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arrowstung/pseuds/arrowstung
Summary: Hoseok tries to be the hyung Changkyun needs. Keyword:tries.





	weightless

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [kpopolymfics2019](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/kpopolymfics2019) collection. 



> This fic was written for K-Pop Olymfics 2019 as part of Team Canon/AR/Future 1. Olymfics is a challenge in which participants write fics based on prompt sets and compete against other teams of writers, organized by genre. Competition winners are chosen by the readers, so please rate this fic using [this survey](https://forms.gle/ooBB5AEMN8ijsbXQA)!

"Which member did you find it the hardest to get close to?" Hyunwoo asks Changkyun, who has his chin resting on a pillow in front of the close-up camera.

"Wonho-hyung," he answers with a smile, and everyone laughs. Hoseok exaggerates a bitter smile for the camera. He's not surprised by Changkyun's answer.

Hyunwoo moves on to the next question since it's a speed quiz, but by far the most interesting question Changkyun got had been about Hoseok. Once he's done with the speed quiz, the interrogation begins.

"The member you had the hardest time getting close to was Wonho-hyung?" Jooheon asks.

"This might sound like it makes no sense, but since he's really good-looking—that's why."

Hoseok laughs in disbelief. "Is that really true?" 

He doesn't get an answer to his question because Kihyun sees an opportunity to cause some mischief.

"So who did you find it the easiest to get close to?" Kihyun asks. Minhyuk starts laughing, which is never a good sign.

"Jooheonie-hyung?" Changkyun answers.

"So if the reason why it was hard to get close to Wonho is because he's good-looking, then the reason it was easy to get close to Jooheon was..." Kihyun continues.

"Okay, let's leave it at that," Minhyuk says. 

In a few seconds, Jooheon realizes what they're implying, and the studio is a loud mess of noises as the writers erupt in laughter and half the group rushes to placate Jooheon that _no, Changkyun didn't mean it like that._ Hoseok laughs along, happy that Jooheon is being teased and happy that they no longer have to talk about Changkyun supposedly finding Hoseok too handsome to talk to.

The filming ends well, and on the car ride home they’re all tired, but satisfied. Hongsik turns the radio on to something quiet while he drives down the highway, and within minutes, most of the members fall asleep—except for Hoseok and Changkyun. 

Changkyun's staring out the window, looking like he's lost in a different world like he usually does. Hoseok’s eyes wander over to Changkyun and his mind wanders in time.

Hoseok remembers the days after they stopped filming No Mercy, and he hadn't yet gotten used to Changkyun's solitude trips. For the last few months they had been filmed during almost every waking moment, so every interaction they had was potential drama fuel. Hoseok had barely had time to breathe, much less stop to get to know Changkyun on a deeper level.

In a flash, though, the cameras were gone, and what followed was mostly silence. Changkyun was a quiet kid. No one could've blamed him for being a bit reserved. The six of them had months to years of history, and there Changkyun was, metaphorically thrown to the wolves and expected to make friends. 

But if there was something impressive about Changkyun, it's the way he refused to be pitied. He never complained, never tried to guilt them. Something about it upset Hoseok. Changkyun was the youngest—in a way, he should've been spoiled and babied by them.

Sometimes Hoseok would try. He'd see Changkyun on his own, make small talk with him. But sometimes he'd leave feeling like he was no closer to knowing what was going on in Changkyun’s head than he’d been during those early days. 

Nowadays, they tease and joke around with each other a lot more. Well, Hoseok teases Changkyun a lot, anyway. But Changkyun’s always nice to him and plays along. He’d thought their relationship was okay, but he suddenly feels worried that maybe he took that for granted. Maybe if Hoseok was more like someone Changkyun could rely on, they’d be closer by now. 

The minutes stretch into an hour in bad traffic and Hoseok eventually falls asleep with pre-debut memories on his mind. When he wakes up to find them pulled into the parking lot of their apartment, the thought has mostly left his head—mostly, but not entirely. 

 

With their schedule jam-packed from Shoot Out to Jingle Ball to year-end shows, Hoseok doesn’t get any alone time with Changkyun for a few weeks. Eventually, they do get some free time—and miraculously, the two of them are home at the same time.

“Changkyun-ah!” Hoseok yells down the hallway.

“Hmm?” Changkyun’s in his room when Hoseok looks for him. He’s lying down on his stomach facing away from the door, tapping away on his phone. He turns around to face Hoseok. “What’s up?”

“You’re free, right?”

Changkyun scratches his face. “I guess?”

“Let’s get dinner!”

“Right now?” He lifts his phone screen and it lights up to read _16:03._ “Kind of early, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, but you’re free now. And the new Japanese place a few streets down is doing a grand opening special, we should go!” 

“Is anyone else coming?”

Hoseok’s smile falters for a small second but he picks it back up. “Nope, just me and you.”

That seems to make Changkyun consider. He rubs his thumbs over his dark phone screen.

“It’s my treat,” Hoseok singsongs. 

Changkyun smiles a small smile and sighs. “Alright, sounds good. Let me get dressed and I’ll meet you downstairs.”

Hoseok nods and waits until he’s fully closed the door behind him to celebrate with a very small victory dance. 

Once he’s waiting down by the door with his shoes on, though, the nervousness starts to settle in. He flips the volume switch on his phone back and forth in his pocket. 

The only time he and Changkyun have gone out for a meal just the two of them had been while they were filming for Monsta X-Ray. Hoseok had been so happy to win a “date” with Changkyun that he momentarily forgot to be anxious about having to eat alone with him in front of a bunch of cameras. 

The anxiety settled in later. They went to a really nice cafe, but Hoseok doesn’t remember what he ate at all—every part of him had been preoccupied with _what do I say now_ and _does Changkyun find this awkward_ and _will this even be aired later?_

His fingers still in his pocket. He takes a deep breath. There are no cameras around this time. It’ll be better.

Or it could be worse.

“All set, let’s go,” Changkyun calls out as he rounds the corner to the front entrance. He had been wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt when Hoseok called him, but now he’s in a pair of nice jeans and his favorite jacket. Hoseok has it in him to be flattered.

They walk mostly in silence to the restaurant, which is fine because it’s not far. The waitress who greets them seems to recognize them because she seats them in a secluded corner even though most of the tables are free at 4pm. She sets the menu and a two glasses of water down then rushes off to answer one of the few other customers. 

“So, what should we order?” Hoseok says, opening the menu.

“Hmmm,” Changkyun says, his face buried in his menu. “I could go for some curry.”

“I feel like you always eat curry, though. You should get something special—I’m paying, after all.” Hoseok smiles and gives Changkyun a peace sign.

“What about you, hyung? Does that mean you won’t get ramen again?”

“...maybe…”

“It wouldn’t be a bad idea—it’s half-off.” Sure enough, Hoseok looks down to where Changkyun’s pointing at his menu and sees _GRAND OPENING SPECIAL: HALF-OFF ALL RAMEN_ printed in bold letters on an insert page.

His need to prove Changkyun wrong doesn’t beat out the lure of a good bargain, so he concedes and calls the waitress over. Changkyun orders his pork katsu curry, and Hoseok manages to work his charm to get the discount applied to Changkyun’s order, too. 

“That was impressive,” Changkyun says once she’s left them alone.

Hoseok’s still smiling as he grabs his glass of water. “I can’t take all the credit, it probably helped that she recognized us.”

“You think?”

“Yeah, she’s looking back at us right now.” Hoseok lifts his head up to indicate that she’s somewhere behind Changkyun. 

Changkyun subtly looks toward the front door under the pretence of looking at the clock and, thankfully, he’s a lot better at stealing glances than Hoseok could ever be. Still, the waitress must notice. She abruptly turns away from them and walks off to help another customer. 

“Hmm. Maybe we should ask for more freebies then.”

Hoseok laughs a little at that. “Maybe, but let’s not push it.”

Changkyun takes his glass of water, and they both sip quietly. 

A silence settles in when they put their cups down. Hoseok doesn’t like silences with Changkyun, so he turns to small talk.

“So, have you been working on any songs lately?” His tone makes him feel like he’s checking up on his little brother to see if he’s done his homework. He tries not to cringe outwardly.

“Yeah, a couple right now,” Changkyun says.

“Have I heard any of them?”

“Yeah, actually.” Changkyun scratches the side of his chin and frowns. “One of them is the song I submitted for the album.”

“Ahh. The one they—”

“Didn’t take, yes.”

“Ah. That one.” Hoseok takes a sip of water and curses his lack of tact. He clears his throat. “Well, how’s it going?”

Changkyun hums. “It’s going. I’m thinking of rewriting at least half of it, honestly.”

“That much?” 

“That, or at least the chorus.”

“The chorus? I liked that part.”

Changkyun just shrugs. “I did, too, but. That’s just how it happens sometimes.”

Hoseok’s curious, but he can sense that Changkyun doesn’t want to go into detail, so he goes for a subject change.

“Anyway. How about that..” Hoseok lands on the first thing that comes to mind, “..new choreography? Pretty tough, huh?” _Perfectly natural and not awkward at all._

Changkyun, thankfully, rolls with it. “It’s tiring, yeah. But I think I got it down pretty quickly this time—well, except for one part.”

“Really? What part? Need any help with it?”

“It’s my solo part in the second verse, actually.” 

“Oh.” Hoseok probably can’t really help as much with that one.

“Yeah, I’m trying to get the timing right—you know, for when I jump out from behind you guys? Right now it just looks kind of rushed.” Changkyun takes another sip of his water. “I’m sure I’ll get it next time we practice, though.”

“Definitely,” Hoseok says. 

Silence threatens to settle in, but Changkyun picks up the conversation with a “How about you?”

They chat a bit about the tough parts of the new choreography and how _yeah, they took the alligator thing pretty literally in that part_ until the waitress arrives with their food all at once. 

Only when she leaves them does Hoseok remember how hungry he is. He picks up his chopsticks to dig in immediately, but pauses for a moment while Changkyun does a silent prayer. Once the moment is over, he resumes digging in.

“I’m so ready to eat,” Hoseok says between blowing on his noodles. “This is my first meal of the day.”

“You haven’t eaten yet?” Changkyun asks. 

Hoseok, mouth full of ramen, shakes his head no. 

“Ah, right. They have you dieting again, don’t they.” Changkyun furrows his eyebrows, and a frown sets into his face.

Hoseok waves his hand as he swallows, then he speaks. “It’s not that bad this time. I mean, I’m here eating with you, right?”

Changkyun doesn’t look convinced, but he doesn’t push the topic. Instead, he starts on his meal.

Outside of commenting on the quality of the food here and there, the two of them are quiet as they eat. Hoseok still feels somewhat anxious about it, but he feels better when Changkyun offers Hoseok some of his pork cutlet. 

While Changkyun was going to place it on the edge of Hoseok’s bowl, Hoseok takes the opportunity to open his mouth with a loud _ahhh._ Changkyun hesitates, contemplates for a second, then feeds Hoseok directly with his chopsticks. Hoseok can’t help but smile as he chews.

After that, things are a bit less tense. Changkyun tries to offer him another piece of his food but Hoseok rejects it, and after a bit of persisting, Changkyun gives up and eats it himself. They both clean their own plates. It gets dark outside.

When they’re done, they head up to pay at the front and, true to his words, Hoseok puts up a hand to prevent Changkyun from reaching for his wallet. 

When Hoseok reaches for his own wallet, though, he comes up empty.

“Uh…”

“Don’t tell me. You forgot your wallet.”

“I did not! I definitely have it, just give me a sec.” He checks the pockets on his hoodie, on the front and back of his jeans—even his hood and the heels of his shoes. 

When he stands back up from doing that, Changkyun is staring at him.

“I might have. Forgotten my wallet.”

“Did you, now.”

Hoseok scratches the back of his head and smiles sheepishly. “You wouldn’t happen to have yours, would you?”

Changkyun blinks slowly, then produces his wallet from inside his jacket. He hands his card over to the waitress.

“I’m really sorry, I could’ve sworn I had it...”

“Uh huh.”

“Next time, for sure! I’ll make it up to you!” Hoseok says as Changkyun gets his card back. 

“Yes, okay, next time.” 

“I mean it!” Hoseok’s voice is louder once they’re out on the street in front of the restaurant.

“Okay hyung, I believe you.” Changkyun lets his angry act drop and smirks. “Next time we’ll go someplace even more expensive and you’ll treat us, it’s all good.”

Hoseok smiles despite the mild fear of what exactly “more expensive” means. He’s too busy celebrating that he managed to get a promise of next time out of Changkyun. He bumps Changkyun’s shoulder with his, nearly knocking him over, then runs ahead of him to get a head start home.

As light as he feels on his feet, the dissatisfaction at his gesture not going as planned weighs him down just a bit, and he slows. That’s when Changkyun manages to catch up to him, panting, “wait up, hyung.” 

Wanting to mess with Changkyun a little more, he pushes the weight aside and starts running again, the sound of Changkyun yelling, “hyung!” trailing behind him.

 

Once their break really settles in, Hoseok gets to sleep in for the first time in a long time—which is to say, he gets up at 10 instead of at 8. 

The sound of Kihyun watching a movie pours out of the room next door as Hoseok steps out into the hallway, but otherwise the first floor is quiet. Hoseok yawns as he pours himself some water to take his vitamins.

If he listens carefully, he can hear periodic grunting coming from upstairs. His tired brain goes through process of elimination to figure out who it could be. Kihyun’s in his room, and no one else wakes up this early on an off day. He makes his way up the steps. There’s a chance it could be Hyunwoo working out, but it doesn’t sound like Hyunwoo. It sounds like—

“Changkyun?” Hoseok asks as he reaches the second floor. He’s still wiping away the sleep from his eyes but he can clearly see that Changkyun has a mat set up in their living room and is in the middle of doing sit-ups. Changkyun startles when he sees Hoseok and sits all the way up.

“Oh. Morning, hyung.”

“Morning, Changkyun,” Hoseok says in a still-raspy voice. He leans against the railing to the stairs and takes in the living room. “You’re working out?”

It’s cute, the way Changkyun’s ears immediately go red. He picks at some invisible lint on his mat. “Ah, yeah…”

“That’s great! Did you want any help?” Whatever sleepiness Hoseok had left disappears at the prospect of being able to help Changkyun. He tries not to bounce on his feet.

“Um, I think I’m good for now. Hyunwoo-hyung gave me a routine, so I’m just following it.” 

“Ah, okay then, if you’re sure.” Changkyun doesn’t say anything else, which Hoseok takes as his cue to stop being nosy. He begins to head back downstairs, but pauses at the first step and turns his head back to Changkyun. “I’ll be using the machines downstairs if you need me, though.” 

Changkyun smiles and nods. “Got it, hyung.”

Hoseok nods and swiftly makes his way downstairs. His body goes through the motions of his routine—fill his water bottle, down a protein shake, turn on his workout playlist—but his mind is stuck on Changkyun working out upstairs.

Even when he’s sitting at one of the machines in their makeshift gym, his thoughts are all on why Changkyun didn’t ask for his help. Hoseok doesn’t doubt Hyunwoo gave him some good advice, but. Working out is Hoseok’s _thing_. Did Changkyun really not trust him?

He knows he’s done more reps than he needs to because he’s gone through three songs in his playlist already, so he lets go of the bars on the machine gently and takes a break. 

A thought hits him—he forgot to put on his weightlifting belt. He could keep working out without it; he’s done it before. And he’s pretty sure he left it in the living room, which is upstairs. Which is where Changkyun is….

It doesn’t take much for him to decide that, actually, having his belt is really important, so he should go upstairs to get it. 

He tiptoes up the stairs just enough to peek his head out over the landing. Changkyun’s lying flat on his back, limbs splayed out like a starfish. 

Hoseok tiptoes back downstairs, then makes his way up with loud steps. When he gets to the second floor this time, Changkyun’s in the middle of doing bicycles, counting as if he’d been doing them the whole time.

“Forget something?” he pants out as he continues his set.

“Yeah, my belt.” Hoseok walks across the living room to the couch where he left it. Once he has it in his hands, he lingers.

Maybe it’s because he started back up in a rush to impress Hoseok, but Changkyun’s form is looking a little sloppy. Hoseok plays with the clasp on his belt as he considers pointing it out.

As if reading his mind, Changkyun pauses and sits up with his arms resting on his elbows.

Hoseok frowns. “Done already?”

Changkyun lets out a small laugh. “Not all of us can do this forever like you, hyung.”

“You were doing really well though.” A pause. “Well, you were straining your neck a bit, but other than that.”

“Was I?”

“Only a little bit. You wanna focus on keeping your back straight, like this.” Hoseok tries to demonstrate the correct posture while standing. 

The look on Changkyun’s face doesn’t tell him if it’s actually helpful or not, but he nods all the same. “Okay, thanks hyung.”

“You know, I was going to get started on my ab workouts anyway, I could come and do them up here with you—”

“Uh. I was actually just. Finishing up,” Changkyun says, looking at a point on the wall behind Hoseok. “I have to go work on something at the studio before meeting a friend...”

“Oh—okay. Have fun?”

Changkyun chuckles at that. “Thanks. You too, with your workout.” He gets up and rolls up his mat. Hoseok grabs his belt and crumples it gently in his hands as he heads to the stairs.

“Hyung?”

“Hmm?” Hoseok turns around.

“Let’s work out together next time. Show me how the machines work, sound good?”

There's a part of Hoseok that feels like Changkyun is humoring him, but he can't help but smile wide anyway. 

 

Hoseok and Changkyun don’t see a lot of each other for the following days. Hoseok’s pretty sure Changkyun’s been holed up in his studio working on that song that’s been bothering him, but Hoseok hasn’t pried or made a real attempt to find out more.

After yet another night where Changkyun goes home later than him, though, he resolves to finally check in and see how Changkyun’s doing.

He steps out to grab two iced americanos and the hallways are silent—but when he gets back, he hears what he’s pretty sure is Changkyun singing loudly to a ballad Hoseok can’t place. Well, more like yelling loudly. Sing-yelling. Maybe Changkyun doesn’t know anyone else is in the building.

Hoseok waits by the door for a pause in Changkyun’s singing, but one doesn’t seem to be coming, so he just knocks. 

Hoseok hears Changkyun stop abruptly, clear his throat, then say, “Come in.”

“Working hard on that track, I see,” Hoseok says as he pushes the door open with his shoulder.

“Oh, um. Yeah. It’s going.” Changkyun coughs, then notices the iced coffee in Hoseok’s hands. “Did you bring those for me?”

“Well, one’s for me, but if you really wanted them both I suppose I could give them to you.”

“Thanks, but I think that much caffeine at once might not be too good for me right now.” He takes the coffee Hoseok offers him with a small “thanks” and takes a sip.

“I was thinking the same thing. With how late you’re staying here every night I wasn’t sure if iced coffee was a good idea, but.” Hoseok fiddles with his straw. “I figured if you’re going to stay up late working on stuff, you might want a pick-me up.” 

“Thanks, I appreciate it.” Changkyun takes another sip. “What have you been working on?”

“Hmm, I’ve been starting new projects, I guess. Since the next album after this one won’t be out for a while, I finally have the time.”

“I hear that. I’ve been doing the same thing.”

“Really?” Hoseok stops looking at his drink and instead looks at Changkyun. “You’re working on something new?” 

Just as Hoseok leans over to take a peek at Changkyun’s computer screen, Changkyun swivels in his chair and hits a key on his keyboard. The screen reverts to the desktop, covered in folders.

“Uh, it’s. Still in the sketch phase. It doesn’t even really sound like much.”

“That means you have an idea, though, right? Can I hear?” Hoseok leans forward some more, trying to read some of Changkyun’s folder names.

“Maybe when I—” Changkyun says as he quickly swivels back around in his chair. Hoseok jumps at the sudden proximity, and his drink falls out of his hands and all over Changkyun’s floor. 

“Sorry!” Hoseok looks around for something to wipe up the spill with. Thankfully it doesn’t get onto any of Changkyun’s things, but it spreads quickly over the wooden floor, so they have to act fast.

“It’s not your fault, it’s mine—here, let me just—” Changkyun grabs some napkins left on his shelf and drops them onto the pile, but it’s clearly not enough.

“I’ll go grab some paper towels.” Hoseok runs to the bathroom down the hall.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid_ he thinks with every wave of his hand under the motion sensor. He was supposed to be helping Changkyun, and here he is being a big nuisance instead. He gathers about a dozen sheets then runs back to Changkyun’s studio. 

Changkyun managed to find a box of tissues and he’s doing damage control with them, but he gratefully accepts the towels from Hoseok and begins using those instead.

“I’m really sorry Changkyun-ah, if—”

“I already said it’s not your fault—”

“—I hadn’t been up in your space—”

“—so there’s no need to apologize—”

They’re both cut off by Changkyun’s phone ringing from where it sits on his desk. Changkyun can’t immediately get it, crouched on the ground like he is, so Hoseok grabs it instead. He sees the caller ID _make it wooki_ before he hands it off to Changkyun.

“Hey, what’s up. You’re downstairs? Uh, yeah that’s chill, just give me a minute.” Changkyun hangs up and speeds up in wiping the floor down.

“Wooki’s here?” Hoseok crouches down to pick the dirty paper towels up. The floor is still sticky.

“Yeah, we were gonna work on some tracks.”

“Ahh.” Hoseok hands the paper towels in his hand to Changkyun, who balls them up and stuffs them into his small wastebasket. Hoseok never really likes invading on Changkyun’s time with his crew, so he takes this as his cue to leave.

“Well, tell him I said hi. I’m gonna pack up my stuff and then head out.”

“Yeah, sure. And okay. I’m sorry about your drink—here, take mine instead.” Changkyun holds out his mostly-unfinished drink for Hoseok, but Hoseok shakes his head.

“I got it for you, after all.” He opens the door and waves behind him. “Have fun, and don’t stay too late, okay?”

“I’ll try. Thanks again for the coffee, hyung.” 

Thankful as Changkyun might be, Hoseok can’t help but regret bringing it. All he did was act nosy and make a mess in Changkyun’s studio—and he didn’t even get to see what Changkyun was working on. 

He had been in the middle of something when he stepped out to grab coffee, but he’s not really in the mood to work anymore. He shoves his things into his bag and makes his way out, careful not to make any noise as he walks by Changkyun’s studio.

 

Winter sinks its teeth into Seoul, and Hoseok’s room is freezing. He’s bundled up in three layers of sheets and blankets but he can still feel the cold seeping in under the covers. Also, he’s bored. So he does the best thing there is to do when he’s bored and cold, which is go upstairs to Minhyuk and Changkyun’s room.

When he gets there, for some reason Minhyuk is in Changkyun’s bed instead of his own. He’s lying back, singing along to “Ending Scene” by IU playing from his phone, and wearing the LED facial mask that makes him look kinda like Iron Man. 

He stops singing and his speaking is slightly muffled from having the mask on. “Changkyun-ie?”

“Nope. Sorry to disappoint,” Hoseok replies.

Minhyuk lets out an _oof_ as Hoseok makes his way onto the bed, first dropping himself across Minhyuk’s legs then scooching over to lie down closest to the wall.

“What’s up, hyung?”

“Nothing, I just wanted to hang out with you guys. Why are you on Changkyun’s bed?”

“I spilled water on my mattress and now I’m waiting for it to dry.” He nudges his head towards the other side of the room. Sure enough, all of Minhyuk’s sheets are crumpled up on his desk and his fan is pointing towards the naked mattress.

“Huh. Where’s Changkyun?”

“Probably at the studio, like always.” Hoseok can’t see Minhyuk’s face but he sounds like he’s pouting. “Doesn’t call me, says he’s always busy.”

“Has he been okay recently?”

“Huh?” Minhyuk lifts his head a bit off his pillow to turn towards Hoseok—which Hoseok doesn’t understand, because Minhyuk can’t see anything from under there. “I guess? Why, has he seemed not okay?”

“Not, not-okay I guess, just.” Hoseok frowns. “It seems like he’s been more worried about his music lately? More than usual, anyway. He’s always at the studio.”

“Well yeah, I mean,” Minhyuk says, head settling back into his pillow. “He got some pretty lukewarm feedback on that one track he submitted. That on top of the fact that they keep waffling on whether to put the tracks his crew is producing on the album or on his mixtape, which they’re still not releasing.”

“He told you all that?”

“Mhmm.” The song on Minhyuk’s phone ends and he presses the next button without looking. Another IU song plays. “Why, you didn’t know?”

“Not in detail.” Hoseok stares down at Changkyun’s blanket and fidgets with it. “He doesn’t really tell me things like that.”

Minhyuk pats his hand around blindly until he finds Hoseok’s hand, which he then also pats. “Don’t take it personally, hyung. Changkyun’s just kinda like that. He stays in his own head a lot.”

“Yeah, with me. He opens up to you guys, though.” Hoseok’s hand stills. “Did I. Do something?” He sits up and looks down at Minhyuk. “Did he say anything about me?”

“What? No, listen.” Minhyuk reaches up and places a hand on Hoseok’s arm to get him to lie back down. “You’re worrying over nothing, Changkyun doesn’t have any problems with you.”

“Then why doesn’t he feel comfortable talking about these things with me? Am I a bad hyung? Am I intimidating?”

Minhyuk laughs. “You’re about as intimidating as a lap dog, hyung. But Changkyun likes that. He likes that you’re not always like,” Minhyuk lowers his voice and continues, “Yes hello I am older than you so I am wiser and more knowledgeable than you, ha ha ha. Respect me.”

Hoseok laughs and hits Minhyuk gently on the arm. He tries to be gentle, anyway, but Minhyuk rubs his arm. 

“Who even talks like that?” Hoseok says. He already feels a bit less tense.

“This hypothetical big brother-figure that I just made up. Anyway,” Minhyuk says as he squeezes Hoseok’s arm to assure him. “The point is, you definitely don’t intimidate him, and you’re not a bad hyung.”

“Okay, okay. But then why doesn’t he open up to me about what’s bothering him?”

Minhyuk hums. “I can’t say for sure, but I think it’s because he admires you.”

“Don’t lie.”

“I mean it! You’re very admirable, hyung.” Hoseok rolls his eyes, which Minhyuk can’t see, so he continues unfazed. “You write great songs, you work out consistently, you always know what to say to the fans.”

“Let’s say you’re right. Why would that keep him from coming to me for help, or taking my advice when I try to help him?”

“Because he wants you to see him when he’s at his best? That’s what I think, anyway. But you know, you could just ask him yourself.”

“It’s not that easy,” Hoseok says.

As if on cue, they hear footsteps coming up the stairs. When the door opens, Changkyun’s standing there with his backpack hanging off one shoulder. He pauses at the doorway and stares at them.

“Why are you both on my bed?”

“Funny story about that actually,” Minhyuk says as he gets up, taking the LED mask off his face and picking up his phone. “Which Hoseokie-hyung will tell you, because I have to go wash my face now.”

“I thought the mask was supposed to say something when you’re done?” Hoseok asks, but Minhyuk is already shoving past Changkyun on his way out. He closes the door behind him.

Only when he’s left alone in the room with Changkyun does he realize that Minhyuk probably left on purpose so they could talk. The thought makes his palms sweat.

Changkyun looks at Minhyuk’s bed, considers it, then looks back at his own. Without a word, he drops his backpack near his desk and flops onto his bed, elbowing Hoseok in the process.

“Ow.”

“My bad. It’s not a big bed, you know.” He shifts around until he’s sitting with his back against the wall closest to Hoseok’s head. “So, what brings you here?”

“Oh, you know.” Hoseok stays lying down. He folds his hands over his stomach. “Just wanted to hang with you guys. My room is cold and boring.”

“And my bed is more fun and warm than Minhyukie-hyung’s.”

“Mhmm. Also his is wet, that’s why he’s got the fan running.”

“I noticed.”

“Does it annoy you that I’m on your bed?”

“Well,” Changkyun says, sweeping his eyes over Hoseok’s broad figure on Changkyun’s twin bed. “This bed isn’t exactly big enough for both of us, so I can’t say it’s comfortable. But it doesn’t annoy me.” He pauses. “Not until I need to sleep, anyway.”

“Okay. That’s good.” Hoseok looks at the ceiling instead of at Changkyun. 

For a minute, the only sound is the fan on the other side of the room. Hoseok speaks up. 

“What about in general?”

“What do you mean?”

“Do I annoy you in general?”

“No? What makes you say that?” Out of the corner of his vision, Hoseok can see Changkyun furrowing his eyebrows.

He hadn’t really thought this far in the whole _talk to Changkyun_ plan, but he’s here, so he might as well keep going.

“I was just thinking, I guess. About why you might find it hard to let me know what’s on your mind, what’s bothering you.” Hoseok looks down to where his fingers are interlinked on his stomach. “If maybe it’s that I’m not trustworthy to you, or maybe I’m annoying.”

Changkyun’s quick in answering. “That’s not true at all, hyung. I’ve never felt that way about you.”

“You say that, but then I just think about how I’m the person it took you the longest to get close to—”

“Is this about that? I didn’t mean to—”

“—and I know you said it’s because I was good-looking to spare my feelings, but—”

“That’s not why I said that, I said it because it was true—”

“Really?” Hoseok stretches his neck to look up at Changkyun now, but it’s hard to read his face from this angle. “There are a lot of good-looking guys in our group, though. You didn’t have a hard time getting close to them.”

“Well, I had kind of a hard time getting close to everyone at some point, hyung.” 

Hoseok diverts his gaze at that. He couldn’t let himself forget how true that was. 

Changkyun’s tone is soft when he says, “But we’re past that now—when I answered that question I was talking about how things were at the beginning. We’re close now.”

“Are we?” Hoseok says quietly. “I feel like you don’t tell me what’s wrong with you the way you tell most of the members. And I know you’re really close with your crew, but it’d be nice if you could show me your music, too, instead of just them.”

“I _do_ show you the things I’m proud of. If this is about the track I didn’t show you last week, that was.” Changkyun scratches his neck. “This might sound silly, but promise not to laugh, okay?”

Hoseok nods.

“That track was… I was caught in a rut so I tried making something outside of what I usually do. Something softer. More emotional, I guess.” Changkyun pauses. “I was worried it would be pretty obvious I was taking after your songs, if you heard it.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, stupid, I know.”

“It’s not stupid, Changkyun, that’s…” 

Hoseok’s not sure how to finish that sentence. This isn’t what he was expecting at all. 

Changkyun’s apparently not done, though. He lets out a big sigh, then continues.

“This might not come out right, but hear me out. I know it’s not like you don’t have any worries or anything—believe me, I know you do. But maybe it’s because you put those aside when you’re with me, that it feels… light? When we’re together?” 

Changkyun seems to be choosing his words. The sound of Hoseok’s blood pumping in his ears joins the sound of the fan running in the silent room.

“What I’m saying is when I’m with you, I like that it’s lighthearted, that it’s not heavy. I can get away from whatever’s bothering me and just stop worrying for a bit.”

Oh. Hoseok never thought of it that way. 

“I didn’t know it came off as me not trusting you, though. I. I’m sorry about that.”

Hoseok shakes his head. “I’m the one who’s sorry for being pushy. I know you deal with things in your own way, I should know to respect that.”

“You always have, though. And you’re not pushy at all. So there’s really nothing you have to be sorry about. Just.” Changkyun pauses, then speaks up at a slightly lower volume. “Keep, you know. Being you. Kind of silly sometimes, pretty soft-hearted—and always kind. That kind of hyung.”

Hoseok can’t not look up at Changkyun now. Changkyun, meanwhile, is looking as far away from Hoseok as he can, as if the curtains on Minhyuk’s side of the room are the most interesting thing in the world. His ears are bright red, and Hoseok imagines they’d be burning hot to the touch. 

Hoseok’s suddenly so endeared it takes all his energy not to reach out and pinch Changkyun’s cheeks or mess up his hair.

“And good-looking, right? You said I’m good-looking. Intimidatingly so.”

“Are you going to remind me of this all the time now,” Changkyun says, burying his face in his hoodie.

“It’s what you said! I’m even better-looking than Hyungwon, right? I better go let him know—”

“Alright, I’m back, enough of this,” Minhyuk yells in a deep, booming voice as he throws the door open. Hoseok and Changkyun both startle and stare up at him with wide-eyes.

Minhyuk’s response is to throw himself on top of them and attempt to squeeze himself into a small sliver of space between their bodies.

“Ow, hyung—get off, there’s no room,” Changkyun says as he moves to accommodate Minhyuk’s wiggling butt.

“My bed is still wet,” Minhyuk whines.

“You didn’t even check!”

“I don’t have to.” Minhyuk throws his arms across both Hoseok and Changkyun.

“Guess this means I can’t leave either,” Hoseok says.

Changkyun lets out a long, dramatic sigh. “Well, guess _I’m_ not sleeping anytime soon.”

“What are you talking about? We can totally sleep like this. See?” Minhyuk closes his eyes and pretends to snore.

Hoseok closes his eyes and tries hard to hold in his laughter. He opens one eye to peek over at Changkyun, who goes from rolling his eyes in pretend-exasperation to smiling fondly. 

Changkyun makes eye contact with Hoseok for a split second before Hoseok shuts his eyes tight again. The look on Changkyun’s face had been… warm.

He sinks down into Changkyun’s mattress, and doesn’t stop the giggles that float out of his chest, weightless.


End file.
